What is in those backpacks I see men carrying these days? I must admit I’m curious since none of the men of my acquaintance carry one. Guys used to be low maintenance travelers. As long as they had a wallet in their pocket they were good to go. Women, on the other hand, because they are nurturers I suppose, always carry bags. Being a woman I am familiar with what is in a woman’s bag.
The wallet and everything therein is common to both sexes. What else do women carry? It depends on their stage of life. Young girls bring toys and stuffed animals. Lots of them. Boys are limited to what they can cram into their pockets or con their moms into bringing along. A Matchbook car or two and a plastic dinosaur. Teen girls stow make-up, cell phones, diaries, IPods, snacks and various other items they can’t survive without. Teen boys lean towards nothing until they get their driver’s license, when they buy a wallet and become a man.
As they grow older females of the species have to get bigger and bigger bags. Career girls carry all the things teens do plus any work and gym related items they’ll need plus a pair of three inch heels to put on at work since the only sensible way to commute is in sneakers. When a woman marries she needs an even larger bag since the responsibility of being a wife and mother includes lots of “stuff”. Not just her own stuff but other people’s as well. Acquiring a husband means you also get his stuff. I always laugh out loud when I see a movie with a married couple dressed to go out for the evening and the wife slides her lipstick into her husband’s jacket pocket. I don’t know where these screen writers live. Not on my planet. “A lipstick in my pocket?” he would groan. “It will spoil the suit’s silhouette. Don’t you have a pretty little bag you can carry?” Into which he will stuff his camera, car keys, handkerchief, cigarettes, valet and coat check tags. And that’s just for starters. Anything else that comes his way during the evening will also find its way in until the bag is so heavy that eventually his guilt will force him to offer to carry it for you. Martyrs that we are, much to his pleasure, we generally decline.
Motherhood is another big step up. Mothers used to carry two bags. Her own which, as I said, keeps getting bigger and a “diaper” bag which, believe me, carries a lot more than diapers. The advent of the back pack has eliminated the necessity of a separate bag for baby and it isn’t unknown for the last Pamper to be disposed of at the youngest child’s high school graduation. This is usually to make room for a pair of three inch heels which will be necessary for mother’s new job that college tuition will require.
Once the kids are grown the bags get smaller again until you retire and start spending a lot of time with your husband. Since it’s hard to teach an old one new tricks you won’t see him carrying a backpack any time soon. So you continue toting his stuff. Age changes what’s in the bag but not the need for it. Maalox instead of Chanel #5, hydrocortisone cream instead of lipstick and mascara, bedroom slippers instead of those three inch heels. I have to stop now because I’m depressing myself but if you find out what those young men are carrying in their backpacks would you let me know?
No comments:
Post a Comment