GREETINGS!

Sometimes I think if it weren't for those vitriolic political, religious, and cheap viagra emails I wouldn't get any emails at all. I can't help wondering if instead of spending all our time on Face Book or porn sights and we were more productive maybe the economy would be better. I think I'll sit down and write a letter to someone.

GREETINGS!

Technology has taken the pleasure out of collecting the mail. Once I received chatty letters from friends and relatives. Now my mailbox is a repository for bills, catalogs and typewritten letters from people who want to sell my house. The only fun is an occasional Hallmark card with a hastily scribbled signature. At least I know someone is thinking of me.
My computer's mailbox, however, is bombarded on a daily basis with notes and jokes from friends and strangers written in espeak which, apparently, does not include capitol letters or punctuation. The spelling, except for certain homophones, is usually correct thanks to spell check. When did you turn into u and are turn into r?
I can't remember the last time I received a personal letter. Oh, you'll say, the telephone took the place of letters, but those of us who dislike talking on the phone--and there are plenty of us--continued to write letters right up until we got a computer. Now everything is e-this and e-that. Between keyboards and text messaging it's a miracle anyone uses pen and paper for anything other than a grocery list and I'm betting some people even use their laptops or Blackberries for that.
I had to pick up a birthday card the other day. As I wandered past the racks I was amazed at the number of occasions they have cards for. Besides the usual things, birthdays, anniversaries, births, deaths and holidays I found some truly unusual cards. For example there was one for someone who just bought a new car. Seems to me that one isn't worth a five cent stamp much less half a buck. Instead of congratulating someone who just got their license, a card should be sent to warn other drivers that there's a new, inexperienced driver out there on the road. There was a card for the anniversary of a bad time. I'm sure your out of work cousin really wants to be reminded that he lost his job a year ago.
The cards that really amuse me are the ones designed for relatives. The modern family has become so twisted they actually have cards for step children and other people you are related to by that tenuous thread called marriage. Step aunts, step uncles, in-laws and pseudo grandparents abound. A card commemorating a divorce will come in handy here.
I like the cards that are from the dog, or cat. I wonder if the people who send them put a pen in their little paws and trace their name like I did with my daughter before she learned how to print.
There was a card congratulating a new citizen. Unfortunately it was in English. One regarding weight loss might not be appreciated by someone who never thought of herself as fat. It's nice when someone sends you a card congratulating you on a new apartment, house or promotion. But I think sending one mentioning your vacation is going a little too far. After all, you're getting a vacation--what more do you want?
I read somewhere that Emily Post felt that sympathy cards from Hallmark were the height of crassness. She says, " A sympathy card with no personal note need not be acknowledged." We all know how Emily felt about acknowledging communications. Although I don't think she commented on the one noting the loss of your pet.
The day of the personal note is over. We don't communicate face to face any more due to technology, and the postal service is going broke because no one sends letters. Some day there will be a mass computer crash and they'll have to start up the Pony Express again.